Tuesday, November 30, 2010

From smokin hott to not so hott

If you would have asked me 17 months ago to describe myself I would have told you I was one hott piece of ass. Well I probably would have said something more PC (unless I had been drinking) but I was confident. I have always had high self esteem and felt pretty good about myself. Then I got pregnant. During my pregnancy I gained 75 pounds. Granted alot of that was water weight, but still I was the size of a small, well scratch that, more like medium sized house. I didn't care about my looks so much when I was pregnant because I was pregnant and to busy being uncomfortable to worry about anything else. Then I had my beautiful baby boy, Brayden. I love him so much and he is so amazing and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. But I did trade something for him...my smokin hottness.
It has been hard for me to come to terms with my new body. Most of the weight has come off pretty easily except the last 15 lbs. Which have been extremly stubborn. But worse than the weight are the STRECH MARKS!!!! Ugh I was so hopping I wouldn't get them. As does every women who has ever gotten pregnant in the history of the world! If you were one of the unlucky ones to get strech marks like me, let me tell ya I feel your pain! If you were one of the lucky ones who didn't get strech marks F you! Sorry I know thats rude but they are seriously that bad. At least with the weight I know with hard work I can get it off (yeah trust me I know thats easier said than done!) but there is not a damn thing you can do about strech marks except rub cream on them, that doesn't really work by the way.
Another new feature of my body that has been hard to come to terms with is the pooch. You mommies know what I am talking about. The way your lower stomach kinda wrinkles up and pooches away from the rest of your bobdy. Let me tell ya about how sexy that is! Not sexy at all.
Its sucks getting dressed these days. I have a whole closet full of super cute clothes that I can't wear. That I will probably never wear again even if I do manage some day to get my hott bod back. Because they were my "going out clothes" and the only place I am "going out" too now days is Mommy and me class. I probably wouldn't be very popular if I showed up one Wednesday in a tank top that showed enough cleveage to make Katy Perry blush!
The one thing about clothes is with the right outfit I can trick people into thinking I just might look pretty good under all that fabric. If you can find tops that are tight in the good places and baggy in the bad places you can make it work. Naked on the other hand is a completely diffrent story. There is no fooling anyone when you are buck naked staring into a mirror. All I can say is thank god for the dark and the fact that my husband can't see that great without his glasses!
At the end of the day I love being a mom! It is the best job in the world, truely. And giving up my hottness was a small price to pay in order to have my son. But that being said it doesn't mean that sometimes I long for my hott bod back. I haven't completely given up hope yet and sometimes if I stumble into some good lighting I can still catch a glips of that hottie smilling at me in encouragment.