Tuesday, July 26, 2011

SAHM: A Dying Breed?

There are a lot of different people out there with a lot of different opinions about stay at home moms (SAHM). There are some women who are SAHM's and love it, while other SAHM's don't like it. Some women want to be at home but can't, while others don't stay home and don't want to.
I fall into the category of a SAHM who loves it, most of the time. It is hard work! And don't ever let anyone tell you it isn't. I hate when people make the comment that I don't work. Um excuse me, you don't think I work? Well I have news for you, I work my ass off.
 If you think about it, SAHM's are always at work. We don't get to leave the office at the end of a long day and come home, home is our office. A day in the life of a stay at home mom can bring all sorts of different emotions; happy, lonely, overwhelmed, bored, thankful, stressed, stir crazy and that's all before lunch.
I am thankful to have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. Sometimes Brayden will do something so incredibly cute that I think I am so glad I got to see him do that and not just hear about it from someone else. On the flip side of that though, is the times when I am thinking when is this kids parents coming to pick him up.
I thought that all of my experience working with kids in a daycare setting would somewhat prepare me to be a stay at home mom, something I have always wanted to be, but it is so unbelievable different. Sometimes people say to me "I don't think I could ever stay at home with my kids, I would go cray." Well this is my response to that; it's not for everyone. It really does have to me something you want to do. I mean this isn't 1950 I am not at home because I have to be, I am at home because I choose to be. Which is what the woman's movement was all about right, our rights. And you can bet your ass that my husband doesn't come home and prop his feet up while I fix dinner and continue to take care of the kids, his ass helps out.
So are SAHMs a dying breed? I don't really know. It still seams like there are a lot of us, but I might just think that because pretty much the only people I see during the weekdays are other SAHMs. I do know this, the good definitely out weighs the bad when it comes to being a stay at home mom. There are times when I want to assume the fetal position  while rocking back and forth, but then Brayden will come over and give me a big sloppy, opened mouth kiss (because for some reason kids his age always kiss with their mouths open) and it's all worth it.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I paid good money for that crib, so use it!

I know there are a lot of people out there with mixed feelings about having your kids sleep in bed with you. I think that each family needs to do whatever works for them. That being said, I don't like Brayden sleeping in bed with us at all.
First of all, I never sleep well if he is in bed with us. When he was a little baby I was so paranoid that he was going to get smooshed. Now that he's bigger I'm not so much worried about that, but he is just super hard to sleep with.  Last night the poor little guy wasn't feeling well and kept waking up so we brought him into bed with us. I love him, I love him so much, but when it's 2:00am and I am getting kicked in the face all I want to do is push him out of the bed. So I took him back to his room and rocked him for about 45 minutes which is way better than having him in our bed.
The second reason I don't like having him in bed with us is that its my child free time. I am with him all day everyday. I am so thankful to be able to be a stay at home mom, but when it's bed time I am ready for him to go to bed! I need that time to unwind and get ready for the next day. If he is in bed with us that means we are literally together 24/7. Now, I understand that motherhood is a 24/7 job and I don't mind being on call but that doesn't mean I want to be in the office 24/7, if you know what I mean.
I just gotta say that I don't think my kids would have ended up being 19 months apart if we shared a bed with Brayden. Now I know for some people that is a good reason to have your kids sleep in bed with you, but that is a whole other topic. Sometimes Mommies and Daddies need mommy and daddy time, and if your kids are in bed with you I don't know when that's gonna happen.
Like I said I don't think there is one set way that people should parent. Every parent needs to do what is best for their family and whatever makes them comfortable. But in this family the bed is a kid free zone!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Another Baby, Oh Boy

I think it's a good thing we got pregnant again when Brayden was 10 months old, because if we were talking about getting pregnant right now I think my feeling would be hell no! Back in February I remember telling my husband we can take care of two babies easily and he naively agreed. Now Brayden is 15 months old and a hand full. The biggest difference is he is a walker, no scratch that, runner now. I didn't realize that him walking was going to be such a huge difference than him crawling. I guess I just figured mobile was mobile, I was wrong.
He is bombing around now like a bat out of hell. He is all over the place and into everything. Not to mention the climbing. Last night he tried to climb over the back of the couch and this was after he had successfully climbed on top of the coffee table. He is running all over the place and my pregnant butt is struggling to keep up after him. He sure is a fast little bugger, or I am a slow big bugger, either way the boy is wearing me out.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous for the new baby to get here. I think about when Brayden was a newborn and how much work it was without a 19 month old tearing around the house. Like what about feeding time? When Brayden would nurse it took him a solid 45 minutes. I would sit in the recliner with my feet up, a boppy around my waist, and let him go to town. Now I am thinking what is Brayden going to be doing for those 45 minutes? Yikes!
Another thing I worry about is the lack of sleep that comes any time a new baby is in the house. You know how everyone always says you have to sleep when the baby sleeps. Well that is a great strategy if you only have one baby, but what about this time around? I took naps every chance I got when Brayden was a baby, and was still exhausted. I can't sleep this time unless Brayden is also sleeping. Eric better watch out because I have a feeling I might be on the rampage! No sleep equals no patience. Well no patience for Eric, what patience I have will be used up on the kids.
Can I just take a moment to say how weird it is for me to say when Brayden was a baby, which means he is no longer a baby. When did that happen? Well I don't know, but it is safe to say he isn't a baby anymore but a full blown toddler. Wow, what a mixture of emotions that realization brings!
I know I will figure everything out once the new baby gets here, I mean people do it all the time. I think moms (and dads but defiantly more moms) always worry about bringing a new baby home whether its baby number one or number five. One things for sure I am going to try and soak up every moment because before I know it I will be blogging about how this new baby is tearing around like a wild man.  

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Pregnant Again, you'll Live

The first time I was pregnant I felt like everyone wanted to baby me. I have heard some women complain about this, they have the mind frame that they are pregnant not handicapped. I, on the other hand, enjoyed being babied. It was nice. All the let me get that for you and the why don't you sit down and let me take care of that. I would gladly sit down, put my swollen feet up and let them take care of that.

I am going to let all of you first time moms in on a little secret nobody ever told me; It's not like that the second time you're pregnant. Nobody cares. They care about the baby, of course. Everyone still wants to talk about your pregnancy and ask questions about the baby, but nobody is worried about the mom. All the let me help you turns into aren't you gonna get that.

Last time my darling husband would make me dinner while I took a much needed nap on the couch. This time my darling husband insists it's my turn to change Brayden's poopy diaper, even if it is indeed his turn. Speaking of Brayden, he doesn't care at all. Who knew a 15 month old would have no sympathy for his pregnant mommy :) All of the pregnancy websites and books talk about how fatigue goes away and your energy returns in the second trimester. Well I have decided they need to have a disclaimer saying WARNING: if you have other children your fatigue will last for the next three years.

I can't help but wonder if people start to care less and less with each pregnancy. I think of my poor mom. By the time she had my little brother, who was baby #5, she was probably out back chopping firewood. I also wonder what it's like for women who wait a significant amount of time in between baby's, does the sympathy come back?

Everyone has a bad case of the she has been there done that so she will be fine. I just want to go on record saying the second pregnancy is a lot harder than the first! Keeping up with Brayden while growing another human is exhausting. So if you see a pregnant mom in the store with a toddler in the cart and a 5 year old glued to her leg be nice to her, because if you're not there is a 99% chance she will attack you. Just kidding, kind of ;)