Wednesday, October 19, 2011

This is For Any Mom Who's Ever Felt Judged

I'm so tired of how judgemental us moms can be towards each other, but also towards ourselves. I think that we all need to be less hard on ourselves and each other. Instead of shoving our own parenting views down others throats, maybe we should try and be supportive of each other, keeping in mind there is not one "right way" to raise a child. Obviously if you are a hooker who leaves her kids home alone while turning tricks, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the average hardworking, loving, doing the best she can mom. I have made a list of things that I'm done feeling guilty (well trying to be done feeling guilty) for. Some of the things on the list are things I make myself feel guilty about and some of the things other moms make me feel guilty about. I'm calling the list my I'm-not-perfect-but-I-try-hard-so-get-over-it-list. Now keep in mind this is my own personal list, some of things you might agree with and some you may not. This list is not meant to offend or judge moms who feel differently, this is just how I feel. To each their own.

1. I stop breastfeeding at 6 months, get over it. If you want to go longer than that, power to ya! But I don't. And it doesn't mean that my kids are going to be sitting in the back of the class drooling while the kid who was breastfed longer will be graduating from Harvard at age 16.

2. Sometimes I give Brayden lucky charms for breakfast, get over it. I know, I know everything we eat is poison and causes diseases. Well guess what I don't have the time, money, or energy to make sure every single thing he eats is 100% natural and organic, plus their delicious!

3. I use disposable diapers, get over it. Don't get me wrong, I understand why people go the cloth diaper way, but I'd much rather wrap that turd up and throw it away!

4. I let my baby cry it out at bedtime, get over it. Brayden sleeps through the night, takes 2 hour naps everyday and its never a fight. I also don't believe I did any physiological damage by letting him cry for 15 minutes while he falls asleep. I think it's way more physiologically damaging for parents who don't get any sleep for two years.

5. I need more kid free time, get over it. This is actually the big one where all the guilt I feel is coming from myself and I'm still working on it. I need more reasons to take a shower and change out of my sweatpants. I need more time to be Sara instead of Mom. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, and I know it's probably a very normal way to feel, but it makes me feel really guilty! I'm still working on getting over it, but it's hard. I love Brayden and I love being his mom, but that doesn't mean I don't need a break now and then. It makes sense, so why does it make me feel so damn guilty?

If you are someone who breastfed for a year plus or picked up your baby every time he cried, don't feel like I'm saying that's wrong, because I'm not. Like I always say you have to do what works and feels right for you and your family. The point of this list is we need to stop being so judgemental of each other because in the end we all want the same thing, and that is for our children to be happy and healthy!