Monday, May 5, 2014

Why I Ditched My Scale

I can't believe it's been over a year since my last blog! OMG where have I been!?!?! What can I say other, right? Those little time suckers that we love so much! But I've recently had an epiphany that I'd like to share with you all. This is the story of why I decided to throw out my scale. I actually wanted to take it out back and beat it office space style but I thought that might be a little on the dramatic side.

It all started back in February when I took my boys to a birthday party. The host was my fabulous friend who happened to be about 7ish months pregnant with her 3rd baby. We started talking about everything pregnancy related as us women tend to do. I was so intrigued/shocked/impressed when my friend said she had no idea how much weight she had put on with this pregnancy. She didn't get weighed at her appointments but even if she did she wouldn't have known how much she'd gained because she didn't know what her pre-pregnancy weight was. This floored me because I was so obsessed with how much I weighed and how much weight I was gaining during both my pregnancies. I feel like I should add that my friend was obviously at a healthy weight in fact she's one of those annoyingly beautiful pregnant women. So if she's healthy and the baby's healthy why not skip the awful moment of stepping on the scale? Why not just throw the POS out all together?

For as much as I obsessed over my weight during pregnancy it was even worse after. Especially after Cooper. We knew after Brayden that we wanted to have another baby pretty quickly so I wasn't as worried about it, but that doesn't mean I wasn't worried about it at all. I lost the weight pretty fast after Cooper. By the time he was 4 months I was back to my pre baby weight, but here's the kicker I was still unhappy with my body. The cold hard truth is pregnancy changes your body so even though I weighed the same I didn't look the same. Coming to terms with how my two pregnancies permanently changed my body is something I still struggle with.

Anyway back to the reason I tossed that bitch. I started thinking about how stepping on the scale has NEVER made me happy. Even if I've lost weight, even if I've reached a goal I've set for myself I'm still not happy when I see the number on the scale. I'd always find myself thinking I need to lose 5 more pounds or whatever. I'd become one of those women fixated on how much I weighed, determined to find self acceptance in the number I just never could seem to reach. Who wants to be that woman? Not me! I was never like that before. I'd always been oozing self confidence and armed with a IDGAF attitude. I decided that enough was enough and I wasn't going to spend one more second worried about how much I weighed and I haven't stepped on a scale since.

So how do I feel? I feel great! I don't have anymore of those morning where I wake up feeling good, look in the mirror and feel pretty good only to have all that ruined by weighing myself. I no longer weigh myself before and after workouts to see if anythings changed. I no longer have goals that revolve around what that awful no good scale has to say. I'm looking forward to the next time I'll get asked how much I weigh because instead of cringing and fibbing by about 5 pounds I'll answer honestly, I don't know.